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When granddaughter, Jada, was born with leukemia, a donor-match was located and Jada made a miraculous recovery. In honor of her grandaughter's health, Jeanna has decided to walk across the country (in the dead of winter) to raise awareness and build support for the bone marrow registry (all that's required is a cheek swab). Follow Jeanna's remarkable journey as she travels the United States by foot.
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Get to know My Guests. Want to know who's checking you out? You can now view the 100 most recent, logged-in users who visited your journal during the past 30-day period with My Guests. For those who prefer to fly under the radar, you can update your My Guests privacy setting here.

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mcstarling
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I am about to be a bitch.
Every year I try to buy some things for families in need. Even this year when money is really tight. Becasue for us tightening our belts means giving up Starbucks and Sushi. By far not a hardship. Anyway, I was looking over some wish lists of families. Several families requested Wii games. WHAT THE FUCK. We don't have a Wii, becasue we feel we have more important things to spend/save our money for. I know everyone is different and what not. Seriously though if you are asking for handouts of food and gifts for your kids, maybe you shouldn't have bought the Wii. If it was a gift, then I can deal and might have been for some of the families.

Maybe I'm a bitch. I remember as a kid when my Dad was laid off we would still donate things to families at church. I remember not wanting to give this kid my used toy because he had huge big screen TV and we had an old black and white one that barely worked.

Basically if you need someone to donate your Christmas dinner you have no business buying a Wii. Seriously.
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Feel as though a huge weight has been lifted. We rearranged some finances to make things easier. Namely we paid off the car early. We are also refinancing the house. I am a freak about saving for Ruby's college. I had to go through hell to pay for mine and I don't want her to have to do that. These simple changes will make the fat that I have no income what so ever easier to deal with.

I also registered the Eugene Oregon Marathon this morning. No turning back now. Of course now that I've registered I will admit that my left SI joint and hip are in bad shape this morning. I was so cold on Saturday after 16 hilly miles I didn't stretch and ice as I should. My lips were blue so I didn't think an ice bath would be a good idea. I have PT today and a massage on Friday. Plus I didn't run this morning. I had hoped to go to the gym and swim, but the cats had a 7:15 am vet appointment. I would have been to hard to try to get back in time to help Chris get Ruby up and get the cats out the door. So once again being a Mom got in the way of my workout. It's completely worth it.

Speaking of being a Mom. Ruby has started giving kisses. She grabs my face pulls it towards her wide open mouth. It's so cute. It makes everything we've been through worth it. It also makes me miss the other three babies that I never got to hold. It's weird how parenting after infertility and seeing your baby near death is bittersweet. I have not been happier in a long time, but there is this sadness that is still kinda hanging around. I don't really know how to explain it. I really don't want the sadness to go away completely and it's really nice that it's now taken a back seat.

It's time to go give Miss Giggle Box her breakfast. She is cracking herself up. Right now she's staring at the overflowing recycling bin and laughing. Too bad I don't think it's so funny that Chris hasn't taken it out yet. Despite me asking several times.
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I should sorting laundry and scrubbing the hall bath. Instead I am sitting here. I really really don't want too. I really should since the PT is here.

I ran 10 miles this morning + strides. I actually remembered to do my strides. I am also tired. I ran 16 Saturday, 8 Sunday, 6 Monday, and 10 today. I think I'm going to rest tomorrow. I have a schedule but I've been having trouble following it. Mostly becasue of Ruby and weather. Since we are in the base building stage, I'm just going to try to get my miles in anyway I can. I just emailed John about "making up" mileage.

I met a women on the run this morning who has a special needs daughter. It was so nice to talk to her about things. While our situations aren't the same, it was still nice. She talked about how terrifing her pregnancy with her second child was. She said she was worried the whole time, that something was wrong. It was a very nice run and conversation for me. I love our friends and family, but sometimes it's nice to talk someone who "gets it".

I really am going to go clean now.
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Holidays provide a built-in excuse for indulgent entertaining. This all-purpose foodie community covers everything from homemade hangover cures to dinner party menus. Need quick advice? Get five-minute snack suggestions, low-fat ingredient substitutes, and even measurement conversions. Delicious recipes garnished with humorous advice. Yum.

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[info]naturesbeauty
Always on the lookout for compelling images, we were delighted to discover this flourishing community of artists who share a love of nature. Honoring the subject with photographs, paintings, sketches, prose, poetry, and other creative works, you'll be simultaneously riveted to your monitor and inspired to run helter skelter towards the nearest wooded dale.

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mcstarling
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It was my first week running with Team Rogue. I ran 48 miles and missed one run. Really that's not anymore than I was doing before. I'm considering bumping myeslef up to 60 miles per week. I'll discuss this with my coach. I'm supposed to feel tired and I don't. I don't know how much I want to push myself either.

I also stopped keeping a food journal. Mostly because I was so tired by the time Ruby was put to bed that I didn't have the energy to write it all down. I tried writing as I ate things, but again Ruby had me really busy. I made good choices for the most part. I only ate when I was hungry. I did however eat several treats, more than I care to admit. Whatever I did worked. I finally lost another 3 lbs. I had been at the same weight for a few weeks. It's so different loosing the pregnancy weight. Back when I lost all the weight it was different. I would steadily loose one or two lbs a week for a few months. Then I would take a brake and just maintain when things got stressful. Then once I was up for it I would start loosing again. That's why it took me 5 years, but it's stayed off and that's what matters. Also I was making major life style changes regarding eating and exercise. It almost seems harder now. I can't really add any more exercise and I eat really well. I could go on for ever about all this. About how Weight Watchers made me obsessive and scared of food. How tired and gaunt I looked the 2.5 seconds I weighed 145 lbs. I've been trying to be less afraid of food and just enjoy it. Anyway, my point to all this is I now have 5 lbs to get back pre-Ruby pregnancy weight. I have another 5-10 to get back to pre-infertility weight.
mcstarling
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I woke-up this morning to a beautiful noble fur sitting in our front room. I'm not even going to ask how much it cost. It's Christmas after all.

I've got 8 miles planned this morning. Then cooking for the meal coop. Then decorating for the holidays. It's going to be a great day!

I really need to get my food blog going. This week I took a petite fours class, made 3 loves of bread, and made paner (indian cheese). I am also pretty close to being done with a knitted sweater and toy robot for Ruby's Christmas gifts. I had plans for a stegosaurus, but that's gonna have be a birthday gift. Then all we have to do is make her a couple drums out of the materials we have in the work shop. I should probably find some time to clean the house before Christmas, too.
mcstarling
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I know people often say things that hurt unintentionally. I for the most part let them roll of my back or bitch about them here. Since I've talked so much about all the infertility crap on this blog I figure I can go into my day today. Accept I don't really feel like going into it. Mostly Chris sat me down and wanted me to plan out our next 5 years so we could refinance the house. For some reason part of the financing depends on whether or not we have another baby.

If I could control that shit I would have a two year old right now. I'd have a perfectly healthy baby that eats. She wouldn't have spent 94 days in the hospital. I wouldn't have subjected myself to 3 years of poking and prodding. So if we're basing financial decisions on whether or not we'll need a bigger house due to another baby, we better plan on not having another. With our track record that's the safest bet. Having to say that out loud sucks ass.

So, no Christmas decorations are up. I'm not feeling very cheery. Considering I was forced to decided if Ruby gets a sibling. Silly me I thought we were gonna get a lower interest rate. Little did I know in order to do so we have to talk about the failings of my reproductive system.

For some reason Chris is surprised that all this upset me. I am failing to understand why big fucking red lights and sirens were not going of in his head when he decided that this topic was a good thing to bring up with me.

In short boys are stupid and my vagina is broken. We do however have almost perfect credit. Not to mention the cutest baby EVER.
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